The Generic Lonely Planet City Guide

Greece is nice, and the marathon is finished, and yet the blogging still seems to be suffering. I've barely started to formulate thoughts about Greece and it's really not coming together, so it's time to pull something out of the vault and treat you to a piece I composed a while ago, and was saving for just such an occassion.

You all know I’m a Lonely Planet gal. And though I love a good fling with Rick Steves when he’s available, I am committed to a long-term serial relationship with a seemingly endless string of fat blue €30 books that I use, abuse and then break up with on a regular basis. I am one with the LP. However that doesn’t mean I don’t get a bit bored with things every once in a while. It’s a long-term relationship, and like all long term relationships you just can’t keep the magic going forever. So with the greatest affection, I offer you the Generic Lonely Planet Guide to Any European City, just fill in the blanks.

Information:

There can be no doubt that ___ is one of ___'s premiere destinations. Situated midway between the north / south / east / west coast and the mountains / ___ River / Industrial Heart, ___ is a vibrant city with much to offer the traveler. A large population of university students keeps ___ lively, and the city's historic centre is full of Roman ruins, medieval churches, bustling market stalls and upscale boutiques; there’s something for everyone. Truly, ___ is a city of contrasts. And don't be intimidated by the language, locals will always appreciate a hearty Bonjour! / Ola! / God Morgen! / Buon Giorno! and most young people speak excellent English.

Start your visit at ___ Square/Plaza/Campo/Piazza, ___'s spiritual and cultural centre (Metro ___, bus 17, 25, 35). The Tourist Information Office is located just a few metres off the Square, behind the statue of ___, ___'s Patron Saint / Victorious General / Founder / Most Famous Son. The friendly staff at the TI can help you book a walking tour of the historic quarter (€12), or a sell you a bus ticket for one of the 156 slightly different hop-on hop-off open-topped double-decker bus tours offered (€25, good for 24 hours. €35 for 48 hours).

Winner of the 2003 "Europe's Most Livable City (Pop. 117,500 - 117,600 Category), ___ takes great pride in the ___ Festival, celebrating all things ___. Visit in July for displays / performances / competitions of the local folk dance / pastry / stringed instrument / hand crafted ___. It's all ___ all the time during ___ Days!

Dangers and Annoyances:

___ is a relatively safe city, but visitors should always be aware of pickpockets that operate in the popular tourist areas. Watch out for any commotion as it’s likely a way to distract your attention from the roving gangs of gypsy children who can strip an unwary traveler down to his or her underwear in 21.7 seconds.

Sights:

The most important site in ___ is certainly the grand Cathedral / Basilica / Duomo / Chiesa of St. ___. (Map #235, admission free, Hours: 9:00am – 3:30pm M-Sa, Su. only open for religious services). Started in the 14th century and completed in 1987, it was built on the site of a previous 11th century church, that was built over the remains of the first Christian church from the 9th century, that was converted from a Roman Temple of the 4th century, that was erected at the site of a bit of flattened-down turf presumed to have been used in prehistoric fertility rites dating to 973 BC. A magnificent example of perpendicular / Gothic / Renaissance / Counter-Reformation architecture, the facade features 392 individual sculptures representing local figures of the time / apostles / saints / the Muses / the Virtues. Also be sure to visit the chapel of St. ___, where there’s a lovely fresco by ___. Visits to the crypt available by appointment only (Call ahead, admission €5.00).

While the Cathedral might reign over the historic centre of town, ___’s Castle / Chateau / Kremlin / Castello / Fortezza dominates the skyline. An easy 45 minute amble uphill will reward the visitor with a breathtaking vista of the city. Walk along the remains of the castle walls, and visit the lavishly decorated and meticulously restored upper level apartments of the ___ family (Map #294, admission €6.00/€3.00/free adults/EU citizens under 25 or over 60/children under 12, Hours: 10:00am – 6:30pm every day). There’s also a pricey café on the lower terrace that offers indifferent food, but wonderful views.

Those interested in delving deeper into the life and career of the painter / sculptor / composer / architect / designer / soldier ___ (undoubtedly ___'s most famous citizen) can find plenty to keep them busy. Real enthusiasts might want to consider buying the ___ Pass, which gives access to all of the sights surrounding ___'s life: The ___ Museum, ___'s Birthplace, the ___ Studio, #37 ___ Street (home of ___'s mistress from 18xx to 18xx), and the lesser-known café / bar / garret where ___ spent much of his time as a student.

Most visitors to ___ will also want to take in the Archeological Museum (Map #978, admission €12.00/€8.00/free adults/EU citizens under 25 or over 60/children under 12, Hours: 8:30am – 3:30pm Tu-Fri, Closed M, 12:30pm – 12:45pm Sa, 6:30am-8:00am Su). The museum displays unidentifiable potsherds and the vague traces of a ruined Roman villa (including 28 square inches of pristine mosaic floor tiles), unearthed during the 1997 excavation of the Via / Rue / Correia / Avenida ___ to make way for a new Fnac Megastore and a Spar shop.

The ___ Gallery (Map #1845, admission €7.00/€3.00/free adults/EU citizens under 25 or over 60/children under 12, Hours: 9:30am – 6:30pm Tu-Su, Closed M) has a nice collection of modern art, including a lesser Warhol and the torn corner of a pencil sketch of Goya's study for the bottom left-hand corner of “___“. The ___ Gallery also includes 732 unique and delightful depictions of the Madonna and Child. (Note the ___ Gallery is undergoing renovations until 2048 and the main collection will be unavailable for viewing during this time. Visitors can take in temporary exhibits during the renovations, currently including a retrospective on the life and work of local philatelist / knitter / squid chef / balloon folder ___.)

And of course no visit to ___ would be complete without setting aside an afternoon to get lost in the winding streets of ___’s medieval quarter. Here you’ll find quaint kebab shops, overpriced artisinal chocolatiers, mobile phone shops, and stalls selling charming keychains, miniature copies of the local landmark the ___, and guide books in 832 different languages. Wandering accordion players and numerous “living statue” performers complete the area’s indefinable charm.

Sleeping:

Camping L'Enfer. ($) A not unpleasant site 7.5 km from the city boasting a solid square kilometre of gravel for the hardy traveler to pitch-up. Summer months have campfire sing-alongs & night hikes to the abandoned quarry (20 km). Full washing & toilet facilities in nearby canal. No open fires.

Auberge Titanic ($$) This sprawling youth hostel on the wrong side of town has 20 & 25 bed dorms all with panoramic views over the prominent rendering plant & a scrubland of challenging ugliness. A favourite with itinerant performers & members of the Gypsy community, a lively atmosphere is guaranteed. Ask about mime evenings & peg making workshops. (Brisk 75 minute walk from the central station, or take Bus #27 and transfer to Bus #456 at the unmarked intersection of ___ Street and ___ Avenue.)

Pension Stumpy ($$$) A misguided attempt at faux deluxe with flock wallpaper reminiscent of a Turkish brothel and ill-appointed rooms designed for midgets. This is indeed the last resort should the campsite be full. s/d €45/60 Full pensione €60pppn evening, menu has the best of Albanian & Romanian cuisine.

Eating:

___ has a wide selection of restaurants ranging from the cheap and cheerful ($) to the gob-smackingly expensive ($$$$$$$$$$$$$). All restaurants close down for the afternoon between 1:15pm and 9:45pm, as locals tend not to sit down to dinner until midnight at the earliest, when toddlers and children are served. Adults tend to not to eat until 2 or 3:00am.

Zonko’s: ($) This nation-wide chain of convenience stores is open 24 hours a day and has locations approximately every 35 feet in tourist areas. They offer pre-packed sandwiches drenched in mayonnaise, cans of unrefrigerated beer, thimble-sized cups of coffee and Milka chocolate bars in abundance.

Crystal Friendship Co-op: ($$) Run by ex-pat Americans Sunflower and Gerhardt, this tiny, quirky café offers daily vegetarian and vegan specials. Try the Gruel of the Day, the Tofu Surprise and the non-dairy eggless flourless chocolate-less low fat turnip-based chokolat cake.

Trattoria Testiculo: ($$$) The best place for the local specialty ___ (a delightful concoction of lamb testicles and fig paste), this restaurant has been run by the same family since 23 BC and continues its tradition of serving both locals and tourists with equal contempt.

Chez Fi-Fi: ($$$$$$$$$$$$$) Top-quality ingredients are transformed into tiny portions of amuse-bouche served on square white plates the size of billboards artfully painted with 6 different coulis and topped with gold leaf. Specialties of the house include pure oxygen cocktails infused with saffron and panda sweat, and shaved unicorn horn quenelles topped in a reduction of Madagascar vanilla and ostrich egg foam. Starters €37-47, mains from €112, desserts €36-59. Don’t even ask about the wine list.

Getting Around:

To/from the airport: ___ Airport is 97km from the centre of the city. Taxis to the historic centre will cost approximately €117.00 (Be careful to take only the pale blue licensed taxis, and opposed to the light blue gypsy cabs). Shuttles run every 380 minutes, departing from Terminal 17a (€12.00). Public bus #39 runs on alternate Tuesdays during months ending in “R”. (€1.50, 4.5 hours).

Bus and Tram: Local buses and trams are infrequent and baffling. Tickets are available from the driver (€1.37 one-way, no change provided), or from incomprehensible and/or non-functional ticket vending machines infrequently encountered at main stops. Buses generally run from about 5:30am to 11:00pm (1/2 hour before the bars close).

Metro and Train: ___’s metro system is convenient and easy to use with stops at most major tourist attractions (except the Cathedral, Castle, ___ Museum, Archeological Museum and medieval quarter). The system map (inside back cover) resembles the electrical schematic diagram for the space shuttle but will become familiar with just 2 or 3 months of regular use. Individual metro tickets are not a good value (€2.45 each) but you can purchase a strip of 10 tickets for €24.00. Local residents can buy a lifetime metro pass for €12.50.

(Please note: The ”Sleeping” section above was written by GSRED’s first freelance contributor, a like-minded and very experienced fellow traveler who shall remain nameless. Thanks P.)

Henry Hound, January 24, 1999 - January 12, 2009

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to leave Mr. Henry in the embrace of family and head off for my adventure secure in the knowledge that he was well-cared for, safe and loved. Then I would return and he would be a bit greyer and creakier, but generally sound and happy and overjoyed to see me. But you know what they say about the best laid plans, and cancer sucks for dogs just like it sucks for people.

Instead of that idyllic scenario, yesterday I bundled my poor, skinny, sick hound up in one of his old blankets and rode with him out to the vet where I said goodbye to him for the last time.

I almost did it on Friday, but I guess I just wasn't ready. I feel kind of bad about that because though he didn't seem to be in obvious pain, it was clear he wasn't comfortable either, but I made him stay for those extra few days anyways. I guess I wanted to have a bit more time with him, though I knew it really wouldn't make any difference. It's not like I could spoil him with all his favourite treats - he hadn't eaten in a week and refused everything except the occasional bit of water (though he did lick out my rice pudding bowl!). There wasn't much point in taking him for a walk either. He was weak, and it was cold out, and he seemed to take no joy in it. Mostly he seemed to want to lay in his kennel, or on the couch, so I spent a lot of time sitting nearby, petting him and talking to him and wishing he could understand. I apologized for things I didn't do and could have, and for things I shouldn't have done and did, and most of all for not being able to fix this horrible thing. And I told him over and over again that he was a good boy.

I know I gave him a good life; he even came with me to work most days, which is something most dogs can only dream of. In many ways, he didn't know how good he had it. And I guess I didn't know how good I had it either, except I always kind of felt like he was a better dog than I deserved. I am haunted by all the walks not taken, and treats not given and plates not licked and chins not scratched. It stings when I remember every harsh word and every sharp tug on the leash and every time I thought he was annoying or smelly or inconvenient. And I'm haunted by the fun times we had together too. Not really the big things, but the little habits and rituals that make up the majority of life. Even though it was -20°, I wanted to go out and sit on the step so that he would come and stick his nose under my arm to make me pet him.

By Monday morning, though, he was so tired and worn out and just done that I felt bad I'd made the appointment at the vet for 3:30pm instead of 9:30am. And it was over so fast - it sounds cliché, but it really was just like he went to sleep. It seemed strange to think that he was really gone. Even now it still hasn't really sunk in I think. It will take a while.

So if you're a pet owner (and God, why do any of us do it when this is how it ends?), please give your beast an extra hug or two today, and cut them a bit of slack the next time they do something that makes your blood boil. Because believe me when I say that no matter how long it lasts, it will still be over too soon.

I miss you buddy. You're my best hound.

Henry's first baby picture.

Gear Picks - Orikaso Fold Flat Tableware

Today's gear pick is Orikaso folding dishes, and let me say right up front: I LOVE this stuff. It's practical, it's clever, it's fun, it works, it's very packable, and it's really really cool. I put this on my Christmas list this year and Santa (ok, my sister) brought me a lovely Orikaso Solo Set - a folding plate, bowl and mug. Yup - folding. It's real, functional dishes, made out of thin plastic, that you fold together like origami.

Here's a look at the whole set in blue:

And here's a quick video to give you the idea - this is the bowl (it's even the same colour as mine!):

And here's the mug, which is more devilishly clever, and also has measurement markings on the sides:

There's also a plate - which goes together just like the bowl, but it's wider and shallower, more like a ... plate. It also doubles as a cutting board.

I've tried out the bowl at home, and it performed quite well, and was really easy to clean - you just open it out flat and wipe it off. The set even comes in a sturdy plastic folder to keep it all together, which is good because the pieces have lots of tabs and flaps that would probably catch on everything around them if uncontained. The folder is ever-so-slightly wide to fit comfortably in my new Rick Steves Civita Daypack, but it's not too bad. It will, however, fit perfectly in the bottom of the Aeronaut (which just arrived!!!).

I plan to take the set with me on my two upcoming trips to Montreal (one for 3 days, one for 2 weeks), so I'll be able to give it all a thorough test. So far, through, the Orikaso Solo Set gets two thumbs up from the Product Testing Department here at Go See Run Eat Drink World Headquarters (Note: Product Testing is located on the 5th Floor, between the Cafeteria and the Yoga Studio).

In the Bleak Midwinter

The countdown clock is showing 160 days as I write this, which has me kind of freaked out. It was fine to talk about the Eiffel Tower and pyramids and safaris and such in July, but now it's the bleak midwinter and Winnipeg has been in a deep freeze for weeks. My dog is dying, and the trip-related expenses are getting serious, and I'm about to commit to leaving my comfy job and my beautiful house and my fantastic friends, and it all seems a bit much. Right now I'm relying on momentum and the kind words of those fantastic friends to keep me focused and on track.

Having said all that, here's an update:

I've decided that if I'm going to do this trip I might as well jump in with both feet. To that end, I will pursue getting my British citizenship. I found a better website that gives a much clearer idea of what's required, so I'm gathering the paperwork and hoping it all goes smoothly and quickly.

And in the spirit of "jumping in with both feet", I will not buy a RTW plane ticket. I'm worried any ticket of this sort would be too restrictive - limited mileage, small number of stops, blah blah blah. Instead I'll just get myself across the pond and then book as I go. If I have British citizenship they'll have to let me in, even if I don't have on onward ticket, and I think I'll be glad to have the flexibility to change plans whenever I want.

I bought the computer I'll take on the trip! I went with the Asus Eee PC 901, Windows version. I found a good deal on a "recertified" model from Tiger Direct.ca . I'm really excited about getting my hands on it and getting it all ready to go.

I also bought my luggage! On Saturday I placed the order for the Aeronaut,the Absolute shoulder strap, the convertible packing cube/shoulder bag, and one large Aeronaut packing cube. Yikes, that was expensive, but I should have it all in plenty of time for my short trip to Montreal at the end of the month, when I plan to try one-bag travel for the first time. (Note: I've traveled carry-on only lots of times, but I've always had a suitcase type thing AND a "personal item". This time it'll be one bag, and one bag only!)

I also bought a new iPod (it was an EXPENSIVE weekend!). At first I gave in to my gadget lust and bought a 16GB iPod Touch, despite my misgivings. I had fun playing with it on Friday night; the App Store is very cool, and the device itself is beautiful. HOWEVER, on Sunday I took it back and I plan to get an iPod Nano instead. Here's my logic:

• The Nano is actually a more functional music player than the Touch. The controls are much easier to access, which is something that always bugged me about the Touch. The Nano is MUCH better for running with.
  
• What does the Touch do that the Nano doesn't? Video playing, Wifi Web, photo viewing, ebook reading... those are all things I can do on the computer, with a bigger screen.
  
• I suppose the Touch could also do things like handheld translation or currency conversion and such, but a lot of the apps require web access, which I won't always have.
• The speaker on the Touch wasn't great - not much volume, and certainly not as good as the speaker on the tiny Creative Zen Stone Plus with Speaker. If I need a speaker, I'm probably better off with the X-mini.
• The Nano will also, I think, be more robust. I can't get past how easily my Touch died after a short fall.

I'm going for my second set of vaccinations today - Twinrix (round two) and Yellow Fever. I elected not to get the meningitis vaccine, because since I'm now mere days from turning 40, I'm not exactly in a high-risk group. And I will not get the vaccine for Japanese Encephalitis; once I get to Asia, someone please remind me not to spend more than two weeks in a rice paddy at night.

Finally, sadly, I have to report that Mr. Henry Hound is not well. His decline has occurred much more quickly than I expected, and it's hard to take. He's not really eating anymore, and has lost a noticeable amount of weight. He also has to go out to pee a lot now - I can't leave him for more than about 2 hours or he'll have an accident inside. I'm doing a lot of loads of laundry to wash towels used in clean-up (I'll be picking up one of these for him today). And really, he's not himself. It's clear that the end will come much much sooner than I thought, I just have no idea how to decide when that should be.

I took Henry to the vet on Monday, and he's now on a good anti-inflammatory that we hope will make him more comfortable. I also got a prescription for some kind of doggie-morphine, which the vet said should improve his mood (no kidding!). And I remembered that I've got a couple of pounds of beef liver in the freezer, so I defrosted some of that and Mr. Henry ate more in those 10 minutes than he did in the previous couple of days. It wasn't a huge amount, but coupled with the NSAIDs and the opiates, I expect he'll feel a bit better. Still, the whole thing is miserable.

I originally thought that this would be the week I'd tell everyone at work about the whole big crazy plan, but the stress of dealing with the dog makes me feel like I want to leave that for a bit. One thing at a time is all I can handle right now.

And that's what it's like here at Go See Run Eat Drink World Headquarters at the beginning of 2009: sad, scared, hopeful, excited, nervous, increasingly debt-ridden, slightly more disease-resistant, much more stressed, and definitely in need of a boost.

This time next year - January 1

Happy New Year!

The farther into the future these TTNY posts project, the more theoretical it all becomes. And as I become more committed to this trip, I'm actually getting less concerned about having a set schedule, so don't be surprised if the "This Time Next Year" schedule starts getting kind of... loose. Having said all that, let's forge ahead with today's TTNY destination: KENYA!


Lions... elephants... giraffes... now we're really getting into Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom territory. Kenya has some of the world's best game reserves, and I certainly plan to seek out some kind of safari experience, probably as part of one of those package tours I've mentioned before. I can't imagine going to East Africa without getting out there with a pith helmet and multi-pocketed vest to see the Big Five (lion, elephant, water buffalo, leopard and rhinoceros) and whatever else there is to see. And what a cool way to ring in the New Year - toasting the first sunrise of 2010 over the Rift Valley, where some scientists believe the human species originated.

Throughout 2008 Kenya was in the news due to political turmoil about the disputed presidential election held in December of 2007, but Wikitravel reports "Things have now quieted down and the country is considered safe for travelers, but the situation remains somewhat on edge, so follow local news carefully". In addition, like many African nations, the HIV/AIDS infection rate in Kenya is high - about 6% of adults are infected. And of course there's the ever-present danger of malaria, yellow fever and dengue fever from infected mosquitoes. Not surprisingly, Wikitravel also notes that "It is advisable to have traveler's and accident insurance." No kidding.

However, rather than focusing on that, let's talk about Kenya's history of producing magnificent world-class runners, including (among many many others) the four-time women's Boston Marathon winner and two-time world champion Catherine Ndereba, four-time men's Boston Marathon winner Robert Cheruiyot, former marathon world record-holder Paul Tergat, and most recently the first ever winner of the Olympic marathon for Kenya, 21-year-old Sammy Wanjiru, who set a new Olympic record in Beijing this summer. In fact, Kenyans have dominated long-distance running so much that it's a bit of a cliche.

Kenya is also enticingly close to Zanzibar (the Spice Islands!) which looks like a great place for a relaxing getaway from dusty safari life, tents, and shaking out your boots in the morning to get out the scorpions.